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你最需要的是爱/ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, AND OTHE

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你最需要的是爱/ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, AND OTHE

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作 者:John W. Jacobs  著

出 版 社:音像供货

出版时间:2004-12-1

I S B N:9780060509309

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作者简介:
  Dr. Jacobs believes that most marriages have significant problems at some time, but until we recognize the new realities of marriage and develop the skills required to sustain a loving, intimate relationship, marriages are at risk.

内容简介

This particularly thoughtful and articulate volume marks the arrival of major new voice in couple’s psychology. A professor at NYU’s School of Medicine, Jacobs has also run a private psychiatric practice for the past 30 years, and his experience working with couples in both locations informs the practical, realistic view of marriage he presents in this book. "Virtually everyone has significant problems at some time in their marriage," he acknowledges. Some of those problems are made by husbands and wives, he explains; some of them are caused by biology, or by the tremendous social and economic changes of the past 40 years. Some are handed down generation after generation in families. Jacobs considers each of these sources in turn as he deconstructs "The Seven Lies of Marriage"—among them the ideas that "people don’t really change" and that "children solidify a marriage." While the book’s myth-busting structure resembles that of many pop psychology guides, Jacobs’s advice is noticeably more sophisticated. His tone is friendly and impartial, and he makes no false promises. "Marital relationships," he writes, "are by their very nature fraught with difficulty and vulnerability." It takes dedication to make them comfortable, loving and fair year after year, he says, and the tools he outlines go a long way toward making that task easier. He teaches readers how to overcome anger and resentment without sacrificing their needs. He explains how couples work as "systems" of action and reaction, and gives them ways to break "negative emotional spirals." Men, in particular, will appreciate his concerted effort to recognize the complaints and desires of both genders. In fact, Jacobs’s book is so well organized and insightful that even happily married couples may find it useful.

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目录

Preface
Acknowledgments INTRODUCTION
The Truth About Marriage Today: Exploring the Seven Lies
CHAPTER 1
 Lie: All You Need Is Love
 Truth: Marital Love Is Conditional-Love Is Not Enough for Successful Marriage
CHAPTER 2
 Lie: I Talk All the Time; My Spouse Just Doesn't Listen
 Truth: Good Communication Is Much More Than Honest Speech
CHAPTER 3
 Lie: People Don't Really Change
 Truth: Change Is Always Possible, and Little Changes Produce Big Results
CHAPTER 4
 Lie: When You Marry, You Create Your Own Family Legacy
 Truth: You Bring Your Family into Your Marriage No Matter How Hard You Fight to Keep It Out
CHAPTER 5
 Lie: Egalitarian Marriage Is Easier Than Traditional Marriage
 Truth: Egalitarian Marriage Allows You to Negotiate Differences More Fairly, but  Often with Great Difficulty
CHAPTER 6
 Lie: Children Solidify a Marriage
 Truth: Your Children Are a Serious Threat to Your Marriage
CHAPTER 7
 Lie: The Sexual Revolution Has Made Great Sex Easier Than Ever
 Truth: A Media Circus Is in Bed with You, and It's Sabotaging Your Marriage Afterword
Real Marriage for Real People
Endnotes
Index

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